The JOKES postage

what is D&B??

D&B is dots and boxes...

I love it, thx for pointing me to this (hot)stuff!

BRAINIAC: Explosive Of The Week - Outhouse

play videoadd to playlist

ugh...no comment (*rolls my eyes*)

What do you call two chess players bragging in a hotel?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer...

:)

"A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

Because, he said, I cant stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Andrew-Villasant beat you to it!

"A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

Because, he said, I cant stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Andrew-Villasant beat you to it!

una mujer atractiva y un hombre estan en una parada de autobus. la mujer le pregunta al hombre, -"que hora es"? y el hombre le responde, -"las 7.30". la mujer entonces se quita el camison que llevaba puesta.

el hombre como si nada.

la mujer vuelve y le pregunta la hora, -"senhor, que hora es?" el hombre responde, -"las 7.32". la mujer entonces se quita el brassier mostrando sus senos gigantes.

La mujer mira el hombre y el como si nada.

Entonces la mujer vuelve con insistencia y le pregunta, -"Senhor, que hora es???"- El hombre la mira y le dice tranquilamente, -"Las 7.36". La mujer entonces se baja los pantalones, mostrando un g-string sexy....

Pero el hombre como si nada.

la mujer molesta porque no puede sacarle una expresion de lujuria para nada al hombre le pregunta bien molesta, -"Senhor, pero a USTED no se le para!!!" y el hombre le contesta;

-"No, mi reloj es un rolex".

A chess prostitute with a degree in psychology will blow your mind. JAQUE!!

5 out of every 4 CHESS PRAYER has trouble with fractions.

The Bad Bishop's Opening (1.e4 e5 2.Bc4) is among the first recorded opening lines and was played by Greco....I have the perfect solution. Condom manufacturers could start a new line of Pope shaped condoms (with the pointy hat acting as a tickler) for distribution in Africa. Each packet as well as each shipping box could feature the Pope’s smiling face as a stamp of approval. That way, the people of Africa would come to trust the condoms as they do the Pope. It would also allow the Pope to become more * immersed * in the problem.

bump

What does the Pope say when he makes the sign of the

cross from the balcony?

On the down stroke "All you dagos"

On the cross stroke "Get off the grass"

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

Q: Why have dogs been banned from the vatican?

A: Because they pee on Poles.

Q: What do the Pope And 7-Up have in common?

A: "Never had it, never will."

Q: Do you know how the Pope keeps his papers together?

A: With papal clips.

Q: What language do the Vatican police speak?

A: Pig Latin!

Q: What Kind Of Meat Does The Pope Eat On Fridays?

A: Nun.

Q: What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?

A: Popeye almost killed him!

\\\//

A Chess Player walked to the top of a hill to talk to God.

The Chess Player asked, "God, what's a million years to you?"

And God said "A minute."

Then the Chess Player asked:

"Well, what's a million dollars to you?"

and God said: "A penny"

Then the man asked:

"God.....can I have a penny?"

And God said:

"Sure.....In a minute."

funny Joke post 2012: Carroll bumps this forum after Wakai was the last one to post back in 2010 !!

Feeling better MC!!

Check!? Just sit back, relax, feel the tension leave your body ... picture yourself near a stream. Birds are chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air. Butterflies waft in the breeze. Leaves rustle. Nothing can bother you here. Nobody knows this secret place you are the last one!!

You are in complete seclusion from that place called 'the LG world'. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. The Board, the Forum and the water is finally clear.

You can easily make out the face of the chess player that can’t play “S†or take a joke, whose head you are holding under the water.

There now........ don't you feel better?

A Chess Player is stopped by the police around 1 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The Chess Player slurs his reply," I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body."

The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The Chess Player replies,

"My wife." the Go Player

a blind man and his seeing-eye dog walked into a bar.

Suddenly, he started swinging his dog on the leash around in a circle above his head!

A patron queried, "what are you doing?"

The blind man replied, "taking a look around..."

Mitch Hedberg....My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so ... yeah".

An escalator can never break--it can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs..."

(Mitch again)

I will post more jokes if no one else can think of something funny to share! I guess no one will mind too much if I am the only one who shares a joke now and then...

I am a long range hiker, so...here is a very bad hiker's joke (that I made up!):

What is the easiest way to ascend a steep hill?

answer: use an "eskerlator"

(definition from wikipedia: an esker is a long winding ridge of stratified sand and gravel, examples of which occur in glaciated and formerly glaciated regions of Europe and North America)

this is a joke fot tornto maple leafs fans:

did you hear that the leafs have a new goalie from china?

oh really,what's his name?

win one soon

Two friends of mine are teaching chess at schools in Denmark. Recently they were trawling the corridors looking for new recruits for the chess club. They found some 13 year olds sitting against the wall sulking.

“Are you not supposed to be at class,” Marie asked.

“Our teacher is absent. We were supposed to have sexual education,” one of the kids replied.

“Well, we can teach you a bit,” Nikolaj tried, pointing to the chess board. “In chess, sometimes the king takes the queen.” A wink was included to show how street he was (or something).

“What happens if the king takes the horse,” on kid asked.

“And what if the bishop takes the little ones,” another asked.

Two friends of mine are teaching chess at schools in Denmark. Recently they were trawling the corridors looking for new recruits for the chess club. They found some 13 year olds sitting against the wall sulking.

“Are you not supposed to be at class,” Marie asked.

“Our teacher is absent. We were supposed to have sexual education,” one of the kids replied.

“Well, we can teach you a bit,” Nikolaj tried, pointing to the chess board. “In chess, sometimes the king takes the queen.” A wink was included to show how street he was (or something).

“What happens if the king takes the horse,” on kid asked.

“And what if the bishop takes the little ones,” another asked.

question: what did one wakai say to the other?

answer: not so much in lots of words!

knock knock
who's there?
Wakai
Wakai who?
Wakai Talky

Instagram was sold.

What? Kai!! Ha,HA.........